I suck at life

For some reason i'm having a hard time in college...never thought i would have to say that...but yea i feel so...not sure if overwhelmed is the word i need to use..not sure if stressed is the word i need to use...but ...that and things aren't going well w/ my parents...never thought i would say that either...I love them dearly and i know they're probably underappreciated..it's not even that at all..but when i compare my life's "problems" to what they have gone through in their lifetime...my "problems" seem really insignificant...if you're reading this I love you and i don't know if i've said it enough...i know i've probably disappointed you...heck i'm disappointed in myself...I know i just need to suck it up and stop feeling sorry for myself and stop making excuses...that's not going to make anything better...and i know i can do better than what i've been doing....it just shows how much i've been spoiled my whole life..i think i know what i need to do...just i need to DO IT

I know college is the next step into the "real world" but it's kinda scaring me right now..not really scaring...i really don't even know what words to use to describe how i feel..anyway that's all i'm going to say about THAT...On a more positive note...i got excited in Chemistry lecture this morning (GASP...i know..) but i actually kinda get what we're doing in there right now.....

This whole blogging thing is really still new to me...i know it's a way to vent..but i don't know if i want others to read my stream of conscious..and the fact that ANYONE can read it kinda scares me...and if you really think about it..even though i'm recording my life....it's not really a record....i mean i guess i COULD actually JOURNAL...but it's so much easier to just type out my feelings...there i go again at being spoiled...but really it's funny to look back on what you've written and what you were feeling at a certain time in your life

So i think i've pretty much not even really followed the whole NO BOYS rule....i just can't seem to remember it...but honestly i'm not going to be rude to someone who comes up and speaks to me....it's not like i've been shacking up and letting them prevent me from going to sigma stuff...apparently that's been a problem..otherwise they wouldn't have made a rule about it....

It'a been misting all day today...i feel like the vegetables at the grocery store...

So i'm going to a progressive dinner with my BIG...well not really cuz she has a meeting...so i'm going with my Grand Big...and then senior night tonight...that should be interesting...well i'm off to eat ....peace out for now